The Name

Jael. Book of Judges. Chapter 4.

This is quite possibly the most badass story in all of scripture ever, Mormon or otherwise. It also gives the least amount of detail, which means there's plenty of room for glorious embellishment. The real story happens in one verse.

Judges 4:21 (KJV) reads, "Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground..."

Translation: Jael lures the dude into a tent with her womanly ways. She then rips away the lowest tier of her dress to reveal one of those bigass circus tent nails and a sledgehammer strapped to her thighs Laura Croft style. The world then holds its breath as this Katniss-Everdeen-level woman wields a massive sledgehammer over her head with a two-handed grip and lets it drop like she's playing the strongman game at her local carnival.

Scripture does not get any better than this people.
God is good.

Others (like Gregorio Lazzarini) like to picture her more like this...
<--

Either way, it's epically scandulous. "Oops! My boob popped out! Here, won't you join me in this tent, sir?"

THWACK! *skull cracking*

If I have to pick a name for myself, I'm going to name myself after the woman with the most badass story. In the small world of this little blog, I hereby dub myself "Jael Heberswife,"
AKA "Lady Jae."